I was sitting around and talking with my teenagers the other day. All of a sudden, my 15-year-old says to me: "You've got to be the best mom in the world."

Whoa!

How did he survive his early teens still thinking that? And this boy's life is not one of indulgence. His father and I fill it with discipline and restraint.

Naturally, as I basked in the light of his eyes, I had to ask him why he felt that way. He said that he saved himself an embarrassing situation by doing what we taught him.

When we finished 'hanging', I thought about raising him. Sure we gave him religious training and homeschooled him since birth. Maybe I brainwashed him into thinking that. After all, he's been under my control for over 15 years. That's right, I kept his brain clean and the lines of communications open. No big deal. It's what every parent does.

Well, I'm here to say, let's take a closer look at what we do. This goes beyond the obvious jobs of teacher, nurse, chef, taxi service, entertainment coordinator, corrections officer, party planner, image consultant, home decorator, and general jack-of-all-trades. Have you ever thought of our expertise the areas listed below?

**Bodyguard--Job description: seeing to it our children are never alone. Sometimes I remind myself of the Secret Service. (The ones we protect are no less important. We'd take the bullet, and run interference with the aggressor.) I've even got the pose down perfect, standing guard with hands loosely folded in front of me, while the kids go about their business. And I've seen the inside of a lot of men's rooms in my time.

**Psychiatrist--Job description: must be on call 24/7 for problems that will end the world, from sex to the dog ate the comic books. And we don't even need a couch.

**PeaceMaker--Job description: self-explanatory. U. N. move over. What diplomat could keep the peace among six family members with six different opinions, ideas, and ways of doing things, with 5 dogs thrown into the mix just to make things interesting?

**Mind Reader--Job description: sometimes defined as intuition or having eyes in the back of your head, which, by the way, never ceases to amaze children. This comes in handy when you come upon a crying child or when your back is turned.

**Writer--Job description: fluidity of mind and of thought. This is necessary during debates with teenagers so they'll come to the conclusion you want them to.

And I invite you, dear reader, to add more to this list, for we all know the sacrifices that go into being good at what we do. Well, believe me, the pat on the back comes when your teenager still thinks you're tops.