Starring Robert Conrad
Directed by Peter Werner
Music: Mike Post and Pete Carpenter ('Hill Street Blues' theme team)
Story by Robert Conrad and David J. Kinghorn
Length: 90 minutes
Released in 1986

We're talking Family Affair here in the primo sense of the words. HARD KNOX can be enjoyed by the entire family (this is not a 'dis'), and seems to be put together by an entire family. So with a movie packed with so many goodies, one finds it difficult to know where to begin.

Well, almost. So let's begin with the storyline. Conrad plays a hard-nosed Colonel (a Marine flyer), who's been grounded for health reasons. Before he starts to 'die' at his behind-the-desk job, he decides to go back home.

Home for this Marine legend is the Garfield Military School. Upon his arrival, he finds that things have changed. The buildings are in disrepair, the grounds are in a shambles, it's gone co-ed, and his mentor has retired to a convalescent home. Because of what the school has always meant to him, Hard Knox decides to take over the school for the 2 weeks he has before he goes back to work.

He has his hands full in trying to make the motley enrollees at Garfield into fine adults. The problems and conflicts in this movie are genuine and are not put there for the contrite use of violence and sex. Watching Knox confront and solve them is satisfying for adults, as well as, for youths.

Now, let's pay Conrad his due. With five TV series under his belt, plus countless movies, you know there's something there that clicks with audiences. Comedy, drama, action, adventure, and the romance thing has made 'Conrad' a household word since the late 50's, when he starred in the P. I. series 'Hawaiian Eye'. (A baby-boomer's favorite) He brings this talent, along with some new specialities, to HARD KNOX. Conrad had a hand in creating the story, his company produced it with a Conrad as the executive producer, and his sons take on roles as cadets.

Conrad is also joined by a long-time co-star, Red West, Elvis-bodyguard-turned-actor, who starred with Conrad in 'Baa Baa Black Sheep'. West plays a crusty Sargeant-Major, who helps Knox whip the cadets into a muscle team of kick-butts.

The cadets are your usual band of malcontented misfits, but Alan Ruck is particularily hilarious as a punker who's got better things to do. Admittedly, Stephen Caffrey should've been left at home, but the characters and chemistry between the actors make up for his lack.

The end is not your typical 'school' ending, and is thoroughly enjoyable. The cadets play a practical joke on the Colonel, but he and his Sargeant-Major get to play one of their own.

This is a movie that should be classified with the humble greats. Through no fault of its own, it only made a ripple in the movie industry. Talent (Conrad's) and script-wise, it should have made a splash.

Mr. Conrad, we salute you for having the guts to initiate a wholesome, entertaining movie for everyone to see. Mm! Interesting concept!